Letter Assignment

November 27, 2012

To whom it may concern,

I am writing on behalf of my concerns with your show Toddlers and Tiaras.

My name is Mikayla Ellison and I am a senior at Brigham Young University majoring in Family Life with a Human Development emphasis. As a part of the Family Life curriculum, I have been required to take multiple classes that have made me a more knowledgeable media consumer. As I have become more educated about the effects of media on the development of people, specifically children, I feel the need to take a stand and express my concerns with your show Toddlers and Tiaras.

I grew up watching TLC very frequently with my mother. We loved TLC. We particularly enjoyed watching your shows What Not to Wear, A Baby Story, and Little People, Big World. When I first viewed an episode of Toddlers and Tiaras, I feared greatly for the young children and their parents watching this show. I have been so repulsed by the poor values and behavior on this program that I have stopped watching the TLC network all together. I can’t imagine I am the only one who feels this way.

If the extreme tantrums, bratty bossiness, and money obsessed attitudes (of both the children and the moms) didn’t disgust me enough, the hair extensions, teased hairstyles, fake teeth, screaming mothers, and scandalous outfits did it for me. The few episodes I have seen of your show have featured 3 and 4 years olds dressed as Dolly Parton, Madonna, and Julia Roberts as the prostitute in Pretty Woman, all of which have included large, fake breasts as part of the costumes. What is this teaching the young girls in today’s society? Why is this behavior necessary to receive high ratings at these pageants? It can’t be denied that the pageant industry is sexualizing young girls and teaching them that it is necessary to have large breasts, a fake tan, and revealing clothing in order to succeed. It is teaching young girls that the only value they hold is their outer beauty.

I also have an issue with your network promoting good parenting with your TLC Parentables website while also airing shows that promote the terrible parenting practices shown on Toddlers and Tiaras. Your TLC Parentables website has articles such as, “How to Start Gratitude Practice” “5 Effortless and Economical Ways to Make a Difference During the Holidays” “5 Ways to Increase Your Happiness” “5 Ways to Inspire Your Kids to Write” “Goldie Box Aims to Spark Young Girls’ Interest in Engineering”, yet your show Toddlers and Tiaras promotes very opposite themes such as self-centered, materialistic attitudes. This is a double standard which makes me question the integrity and honesty of your network.

I understand that shows with more dramatic or shocking content may be more successful than shows without those factors. However, I am pleading that your network takes part in not perpetuating these stereotypes and poor values by discontinuing the show. Our country has enough problems with young girls struggling with body image and self-confidence.

I respect the many uplifting, inspiring shows that TLC produces. They have had a positive influence on me and I’m sure the case is the same with many others. Even if Toddlers and Tiaras continues to air, I would hope that these concerns would be taken into consideration when evaluating future decisions. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

Mikayla Ellison

Facebook Fast Report

What started as a one week fast turned into a two week fast because I was so loving not being attached to Facebook! I thought for sure by the time a week rolled around I would be dying to log on and see how many notifications I had missed, but this was not the case. Even just a week without Facebook made the biggest difference! I had much more free time and was more productive with the free time I had. It was wonderful! So once a week had passed, I just was not ready to stop my fast. (Especially because the content analysis was due within the next few days-I needed the extra productive time :) ) 

The extra free time was nice, but what I loved the most is that my thoughts weren't directed towards other people's lives all the time. I got to escape the Facebook world and just focus on my life and my relationships which was so nice and so needed.

Even though I am not on an official fast any more, I plan on continuing to regulate my time on Facebook from here on out. I want to maintain the balance between my relationships on Facebook and my relationships around me everyday. 

Seriously?!

Seriously people?!  Why do you even come to class if you just sit on Facebook the entire time?

I wonder if professors realize what is actually happening on the other sides of all the laptop screens they see in class. 

(I did not take this picture. I found it on google and thought it illustrated my point.)

I can see 8 people right now (just from my chair-I'm sure there are more behind me) using some sort of media not pertaining to the Dr. Caroll’s SFL 223 class. 

Dr. Caroll's class has been my favorite class I’ve taken so far at BYU. I learned so many life-changing concepts in that class that not only apply to my future marriage, but to any relationship such as good communication, conflict resolution, etc. I actually took it last winter but thought it was such a good class that I am auditing it again this semester, just so I can be uplifted by his lectures again. Because I love this class so much, it SERIOUSLY kills me when I see sooo many people on their phones playing games, looking for Vegas concert tickets, checking Facebook, or my most/least favorite thing I saw today, a group of girls pinning Wedding ideas on Pinterest.  You are missing vital information that could change the course of your marriage because you are picking out what types of center pieces you want at your wedding! They don’t realize what they’re missing. It seriously kills me. Technology is great but it is sad how much of a distraction it can be, especially during class time.

With all of this being said, I would be lying if I said I have never done this before, especially in my other less enjoyable classes. I want to be better at not getting distracted by other media during class time.

Music, dance, & theater performances: Types of media?

This weekend I saw 3 different shows, the Folk Music Ensemble, Ballet Showcase, and Vocal Point in concert. They were all fabulous! It was a great weekend. I was reflecting on how we often only associate media with technology. Although that is primarily the medium used, I think all of these shows are also media. They are conveying a message through a medium! I think it is a very good, uplifting type of media, most of the time. Music and dance performances can convey just as strong of messages as a TV show, movie, or music.

Facebook Fast Cont.

I'm really enjoying my Facebook fast. I love having the extra free time. I can't say I'm necessarily doing the most productive things with my newly acquired free time. Baby steps, right? I'm loving it so much though that I decided to give up Instagram and Pinterest as well. I have a very large paper due on Tuesday so I told myself that I would wait to turn those forms of media back on until Tuesday night. But I think I might actually go a little longer without those distractions. It's just so nice to not feel like I'm wasting my life away on social media!!

Cell Phones

How young is too young to have a cell phone?

I have been trying to think about how I will handle the use of cell phones with my kids. With all of this talk in class about cyber bullying, texting additions, and sexting, I can’t help but to think that not letting my kids have a cell phone would just eliminate these problems. Although that could be true, I don’t want to shelter my children completely. I want them to have one so they learn how to use it properly and how to differentiate between good and bad communication. It may be silly, but I also don't want them to be out of the loop of communication and not be invited to parties or get togethers because they don’t have a cell phone! That's a lesser priority though, of course. I just want to make sure they develop good communication skills BEFORE they get a cell phone and risk becoming dependent on a phone. With all of this being said, I still have no idea what age I want my kids to get a phone. Hm.....

Facebook Fast

I spent my walk home today pondering about our lecture on social media, specifically about the negative effects Facebook might have on my life. I spend soooo much unnecessary time on Facebook. It’s not a conscious decision, I just somehow waste time on that thing like no one’s business. I just have it automatically pulled up at work, or pulled up on my phone, or pulled up on my laptop so it’s easily refreshable when I get a free minute to check up on what’s going on in my “friends” lives. Am I totally pathetic? I have noticed that I have spent significantly more time on Facebook since I bought an iPhone. It’s just too easily accessible. I don’t like that I spend so much time on Facebook, yet I'm lucky if I get 15 minutes of scripture study in a day. This is not okay with me. 

I was particularly impressed by the three girls in our class who explained why they decided not to be involved in social media. I had the thought that maybe I should try going without social media for a while and see what positive effects it may have. So I am going to try a little experiment on myself J I'm going to go a whole week (uber pathetic, I know) without Facebook, Pinterest, or Instagram. I had my boyfriend change my password of all three sites so that I wouldn’t even be tempted to log on. I think it will be really nice. I predict that I will have more free time and feel happier in general. I will update my blog in a week from now with my findings.

The Power of Music

Today I have listened to 4 albums worth of church music while studying. It really is incredible how much music can influence me and my mood. I rely on music every Sunday to get me in the right mindset before church as well as to help me continue to feel the Spirit after church. I feel like an enjoyable, relaxing Sunday wouldn't be the same with out Sunday music. I truly believe music is the most powerful form of media. It had an unspeakable power that is incomparable to any other type of media.It can transform my mood and change my day. I am so grateful for music and it's influence in my life.

The Bachelor: To watch or not to watch?

I wish The Bachelor wasn't my guilty pleasure, but it totally is. I know it's not the most uplifting show, but I watch it anyway. Why? I have no idea. That's what's so ridiculous about it. Throughout our lesson this week on reality TV, I was contemplating why I enjoy watching The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. Maybe it is the drama? Maybe I live vicariously through the show and enjoy forming my own opinions on which contestants are the best for this and that reason. I don't always feel in control of my own love life, but it's fun to pretend like I can control and be involved in someone else's love life. It sounds silly, I know. 

For that reason, I have been reevaluating my reasons for justifying watching this show, if there are any. I can't seem to make a decision on whether I will continue watching the show or not. In regards to the studies we talked about in class, I don't feel like the show influences my attitudes towards dating or gives me any type of "fairytale" ideas. I don't feel like I expect anything I see on that show to be reflected in my own dating life.  I recognize that the show is completely ridiculous, that it's not anything like real life.I know what I believe and I know that I have different and higher standards for the types of relationships I want to be engaged in compared to the trashy ones I see on this show. So I should be fine watching it, right? Okay, I know that's maybe not true. I have a hard time justifying that there are any positive benefits that come from watching this show, and we are advised to watch things that are uplifting and enriching. I feel like if I am having to think about it this much, I probably should not be watching it. I'm sure there are many other better options that I could fill my time with.

But I want to know what you guys think. Do any of you watch it? Or have passionate feelings against it? Why or why not? I'm very interested to know.

Thoughts: Miss Representation

I left class today with a pit in my stomach as a result of fear for my future children. I am worried for my daughters especially, but also for my sons. I have always known that my daughters would be especially vulnerable at a young age when it comes to body image and have prepared myself to deal with those issues when the time comes. But I never thought about how I need to prepare my sons as well to not only respect women, but recognize that women can do anything men can do. If I perpetuate the notion that men need to be strong, masculine, in control, and hard, they will be sure to run into problems in school where they feel like they don't measure up. I want my boys to know that they can show emotion and they can be involved in things that aren't always comply with gender stereotypes. I also want to teach my boys that they need to respect women just like they should respect everyone else. I feel like teaching my boys these things will help relieve some of the pressure my on my daughters and other girls their age.

This movie really made me realize just how responsible the media is for so much of the corruption in our society. I was even realizing ways I had been a victim of media pollution. Luckily, I was content enough with my body image growing up that I never had any type of major struggles outside the typical awkwardness that comes with being in a teenager body. But what I never realized until today was how my perception of women in leadership roles or political positions has probably been more affected by media than I realize. I grew up thinking that those types of roles were for men and that women just weren't good for public office or for major leadership positions. I have never reflected on why I have grown up with these stigmas until watching this movie. My parents didn't raise me on any such notions. In fact my mother was very involved in our city council and school board. The only other source I can trace is the media! I must have somehow adopted those views over the years being exposed to a lot of media.

General Conference

Can i just say how grateful I am for technology and media that allows me to hear the prophet's voice in my home only seconds after he says his words in real life? It's incredible that it is available for me to watch at all, but for it to be available to me live is extraordinary. What a blessing! And if I want to go back and hear a talk again, it is easily accessible on the church's website. It's so cool. I get really excited for general conference. I am so happy to be able to listen to all of the prophet's and apostles' words this weekend. I can't help but think that these are the types of things that Heavenly Father intended for technology to be used for. This is only one of the many wonderful ways that technology can be used to further the work of the church. It really is amazing!!

Instagramaholic.

 Hi, my name is Mikayla Ellison and I am an Instagramaholic.

There is something a little addicting to me about editing my photos in such a cool way by the click of a button. It's so easy, and I like the way it makes my photos look. I also like looking at everyone else's photos and seeing what they're up to. But this little addiction has caused me to start doing something I have previously been guilty of doing on Facebook: comparing myself to others. It's so hard not to do on these social networking sites! Seeing such fun pictures on Facebook or Instagram sometimes cause me to have thoughts such as, "Wow, I wish my life was as exciting as theirs" or "I wish I could go on a fun trip somewhere", or "I wish I was eating that for dinner" (I still don't understand why people always post so many pictures of food on this app). It's really a shame, because obviously only the best/most fun times are what get captured and posted, not the other mundane, not-so-good times. Pictures on Facebook and Instagram don't accurately represent reality. I know this, but it's still hard to not subconsciously make comparisons. I have noticed that it makes me less appreciative of my life and somehow numbs me to overlook the blessings I have received in my life. It's not okay!

It is awesome that we can share our lives so easily through the use of media, but I need to be careful not to focus more on other people's lives than my own. I could instead spend that time improving things in my own life or even serving others! For this reason, I think I significantly decrease the amount of time I spend on this app. Or better yet, I should just delete it. I can't decide. My hipster edited photos are probably not worth the toll it takes on my daily attitude. Hm.....

Hooray for positive media!

MormonNewsroom.org

How did I not know about this website until today? It is AWESOME! It has all sorts of links to different places where Mormonism is in the news. It also clarifies inaccurate comments or statements made in the media about Mormons and Mormon beliefs. You can find statistics on the church such as total church membership, number of temples built, number of full-time serving missionaries, etc. It is awesome and is an official church website which means you can trust the information on the website. According to the website, "Whether you are a journalist, a blogger, a leader in another church, staff to a member of Congress or simply an interested observer, MormonNewsroom.org is a valuble-and official-resource providing news stories, commentary and insights about issues of public interest in The Church of Jesus Christ Of Latter-day Saints." So cool, right?! What a positive way to use media to educate others and spread awareness of Mormons and what we believe.

For example, today I found this statement given by the church on MormonNewsroom.org:

"Finally, another small correction: Despite what was reported, the Church revelation spelling out health practices (Doctrine and Covenants 89) does not mention the use of caffeine.  The Church’s health guidelines prohibit alcoholic drinks, smoking or chewing of tobacco, and “hot drinks” — taught by Church leaders to refer specifically to tea and coffee. "

Apparently, this statement has kind of been the talk of town at BYU the past couple of days. So caffienated sodas are okay to drink? Who knew?! I do now! Because I have access to this wonderful media!

Children and Technology

My youngest brother is four years old and can work my mother’s iPhone and iPad better than she can. It baffles/impresses/scares me. It baffles me that a child who cannot read can somehow know what buttons to push and what icons to click on. It scares me to think that a child who should be playing outside with legos, cars, and airplanes is instead sitting in front of a screen playing Angry Birds and Bejeweled. I sometimes worry about my brother, Brenner, and how much time he spends playing games on my mother’s iPhone or iPad. The child development nerd in me can’t help but ask questions such as: Is it bad that children can navigate technology so well at such a young age? How much time on technology is too much at such a young age? How will this affect their cognitive development? Language development? Social development? I can’t imagine that children who spend significant amounts of time in front of a screen would have very well-developed social skills. 

As I contemplated these questions, a quote from an October 2011 Conference address popped in my head. Speaking to the youth of today, Elder Bednar said:

 “Your fingers have been trained to text and tweet to accelerate and advance the work of the Lord—not just to communicate quickly with your friends. The skills and aptitude evident among many young people today are a preparation to contribute to the work of salvation.”

According to Elder Bednar, our generation and the generations to come are meant to be technologically savvy! We are not just better able to understand technology because of our culture or some random societal influence. Heavenly Father intentionally gave us these skills for the specific purpose of advancing the work of the Lord. I had never really thought about that possibility before, until I heard this talk. So maybe it’s not a bad thing that Brenner is so technologically intuitive. As long as we regulate how much time our kids are spending immersed in the media. Everything in moderation, right? I think parents of the future generations (and now) will need to make a concious effor to teach our kids that technology can and should be used for positive things, such as advancing the work of the Lord.

Pinterest: A Love/Hate Relationship

For the first time in a couple months, I decided to use some of my free time to browse around Pinterest for a little bit. Bad idea. Twenty-two pins later, I had spent over two hours of my day reading about recipes, miracle workouts, and DIY craft how-to's. It's not even funny how easily I could waste my entire day away on Pinterest. It's quite addicting. Don't get me wrong, I think Pinterest is great and can be a positive tool for an aspiring homemaker like myself, however; I wonder if it has negative effects on women's perceptions of what being a good mother entails.

I recently read a blog post from a mom who expressed her frustration of feeling like a failure mother after looking at Pinterest. She expressed that it made her feel inadequate and discouraged. She had a realization that her children didn't want a mother who was an expert at crafting, cooking, and sewing. They wanted a mother that was active and involved in their lives. My favorite quote from her post:

"Can we remind each other that it is our uniqueness and love that our children long for? It is our voices. Our smiles. Our jiggly tummies. Of course we want to learn, improve, exercise, cook better, make our homes lovelier, and provide beautiful experiences for our children, but at the end of the day, our children don’t want a discouraged, stressed-out mom who is wishing she were someone else."

I love this idea. Children don't care if their meals are color coordinated or if their towels each have individual hand-embroidered monograms.They care about having a mother that plays with them, is attentive to their needs, and makes them feel special. It's sad but necessary to realize that even good types of media can have negative effects on us if we don't regulate our media usage and keep things in perspective. I need to remember that it's not necessary for me to be a professional home decorator or a gourmet chef in order to be a successful mother. Even I have been guilty of letting Pinterest sometimes convince me otherwise.